The following is commentary from comedian George Carlin. I have posted 
the following statements here because I believe in the messages they 
convey...I could only wish I was the one to coin them. Before any of 
you e-mail me bithcing about the remarks about minorities and speaking 
English, keep in mind, I'm of hispanic heritage and I still believe what 
they say.... 

~~~~~~~~~~


I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some 
midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to 
give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne or 
Marilyn Manson sang.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in 
English.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular 
opinions or actions. 

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. 

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than 
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to 
put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be 
enlightened. 

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God. 

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in 
the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches 
or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-fuck-up 
already. 

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson 
preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the 
problem and not the solution. 

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running 
from them. 

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking 
the law, regardless of what color you are. 

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you 
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for 
the next four years.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two 
parents. 

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't 
pretend they are a political statement. 

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the 
mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.